Emotions & Life Adjustments

Whether you are new to the role of caregiving or have been caring for a loved one for several years, you have probably experienced a few—or maybe many—life adjustments due to the caregiving role. These life adjustments can provoke a wide range of emotions for caregivers.

Maybe…

• You’re now much more involved in your loved one’s medical care. The doctor’s office contacts you directly, and you need to provide or coordinate transportation to all of the appointments.
• You have alarms set on your phone each day to make sure your loved one takes their medications at the correct time.
• You recently had to take a few days off work to help your loved one recover from a procedure or sickness.
• You cook two meals instead of one because your loved one’s tastes and appetite are changing due to their disease or medications.
• Your loved one may have less independence due to mobility changes, and they need more physical support from you.

No matter your circumstances, know that it’s normal for caregivers to feel a variety of emotions throughout the caregiving journey.  It’s our hope to provide you with some encouragement by normalizing your feelings and helping you gain perspective. Be patient with yourself as you work through your emotions.

Helpful Reminders

Experiencing emotions is normal.
Recognize that you and your loved one’s roles are changing. As their care needs increase, your care responsibilities increase too. The process of roles shifting over time can trigger feelings of grief for both you as the caregiver, and for your loved one as they are losing their independence. Even though it’s hard to experience, this is normal. Read more on this topic here.

Setting realistic expectations is key.
If you expect yourself to be a perfect caregiver, a perfect spouse, sibling, etc., you are setting yourself up for failure. It’s not possible to be perfect, and that’s okay. Expect that this road may be hard at times as well as unpredictable. Uncertainty makes people uneasy, and that’s a normal emotional response. Caregiving can create many moments of uncertainty. You may wonder if you’re doing enough and if you’re making the right decisions. Remember to be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can.

Establishing priorities can help.
Many things may be calling for your attention each day. Take life one day at a time. Do what must be done today and choose to let the rest go.

Taking care of yourself is essential.
Your physical and emotional health are incredibly important. For many, caregiving for a loved one is a marathon, not a short sprint. In order to sustain yourself for the long haul, it’s essential to build rhythms of self-care into your daily life. Practicing self-care means staying connected with things that are life-giving and bring you joy. Things that keep you connected to your other identities outside of your identity as a caregiver. Connect with a favorite hobby, take time to call a friend, take a walk outside or dance in your living room while listening to your favorite music. Even small amounts of time can help your emotional wellbeing. Read more on this topic here.