Recognizing What Your Loved One is Communicating

While dementia impacts people in a variety of ways, one common thread of decreased cognitive ability is the strain it puts on someone’s ability to communicate their own needs.  Your loved one may have a difficult time putting words to their thoughts, feelings, and the physical sensations they are experiencing. It’s up to you as the caregiver, to learn from your loved one and at times be a detective in order to identify and work through these communication barriers.

When it comes to challenging behaviors:

Consider the cause.
If your loved one is displaying new or concerning behaviors, look for possible triggers such as discomfort, environmental changes or a possible underlying need.

Behavior is often a form of communication. Is your loved one hungry or thirsty? Are they in pain or overstimulated? Is their new medication leading to increased agitation? Identifying the cause will allow you to respond to stressful moments in the most helpful way.

Embrace flexibility.
For many of us, flexibility is challenging. Pivoting from our own expectations can create disappointment and additional stress.  The caregiving journey requires – and over time teaches – that there can be great strength in flexibility and adaptability.

Individuals with dementia usually experience both “good” and “bad” days. Some days, they are at their best mentally and emotionally and the next day might be the exact opposite and feel like an “off” day.   Think of ways to adjust your expectations and schedule to require less of your loved one’s energy when they have less energy to give. Additionally, on days when your loved one is feeling their best, be flexible and modify your day to include something you might both enjoy – a walk, going to get ice cream or going out for lunch.

Ask a professional.
Be sure to communicate with your loved one’s medical provider(s). You know your loved one best, and as you see cognitive changes or new behaviors – especially if they are difficult and concerning – communicate that with their provider. Ask for advice related to managing challenging behaviors or possible medication adjustments.

Learn from others.
Especially when going through more difficult seasons of caregiving, one of the best things you can do to care for yourself is to connect with others in a similar life stage. Connecting with a support group or online discussion group can help you feel seen, heard and validated as a caregiver. Being part of a caregiver community will also allow you to gain tips, insights and practical caregiving strategies from others caring for those with dementia.