Home Resources Getting Started Reversing Roles

Reversing Roles

Listen to this article

As you take on caregiving for a loved one, you may find yourself taking on new roles or even reversing roles as their health condition changes.

In the case of a parent, you may have many decisions to make about their life that don’t seem to be yours to make. This might include making sure they are eating properly, taking care of their home, helping them stay on top of their medications or even aiding financial decisions. They once taught you how to drive, and now you are considering whether or not it’s safe for them to do so.

If you are caregiving for your spouse or partner, you might take on responsibilities that they have carried for years – the bill paying, meal planning or house cleaning. Maybe they love gardening and now caring for all of their plants feels frustrating and just too much. Your spouse may have been the primary parent communicating with kids and grandkids and now you’re trying to take on that new role in addition to many other responsibilities.

These role reversals can sometimes feel pushed on you. You may feel overwhelmed by a task that you’ve never had to do before. You may feel lost or ill-equipped to do what’s needed of you. Whatever task feels overwhelming, there are people around you who find those things easy. Look for those people and enlist their help.

Now may be the time to call a trusted friend, relative or professional to walk you through your new role or come alongside and help during the learning curve.

Additional helpful strategies:

Acknowledge and accept the emotions: It’s much healthier to validate the feelings that come along with role reversal rather than suppress or ignore them.
Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, neighbors, or relatives. They can offer a listening ear, advice or simply be there to empathize with your situation.
Embrace an opportunity to learn: A variety of new skills may be required in your new role. Although it might feel intimidating, embracing the learning process can build your self-confidence and sense of empowerment.
Delegate tasks: It’s not possible for you to do everything on your own. Be open to receiving help and willing to share specific tasks that will be most helpful for you.
Communicate openly: Open and honest communication can foster empathy and will help others recognize the emotional impact of role reversal. This can lead to better teamwork and support during your caregiving journey.
Practice self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Doing so, even for a short amount of time, will help your overall well-being while you are taking on new responsibilities.
Seek professional help if needed: If the impact of role reversal becomes overwhelming or persists for an extended period of time, consider seeking professional help from a counselor or therapist to provide guidance, coping strategies and support tailored to your specific caregiving situation.