The Grief We Feel Before a Loss
Feeling overwhelmed by emotions as a caregiver? You're not alone. Take a closer look at a type of grief that is common for caregivers.
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“Why do I feel sad when my loved one is still here?”
“I’m feeling seven different emotions all at the same time. Is that normal?”
You may experience waves of sadness throughout the caregiving journey. The feelings might be mild and hardly noticeable or as your loved one’s care needs increase and their independence decreases, these feelings may intensify.
The sadness we feel before the loss of a loved one is called anticipatory grief.
Although this is different than the grief that follows a death, anticipatory grief shares many symptoms of regular grief:
- sadness
- anger
- isolation
- forgetfulness, and
- depression.
Anticipatory grief is triggered by the losses that take place as your loved one’s illness progresses. The losses may include the loss of cognition, loss of mobility, loss of independence, loss of future dreams, loss of identity and countless other losses.
It’s normal for caregivers to feel these emotions. Most likely, the one you are caring for has also experienced these or will in the future as their health condition changes. If you can, try to express your emotions by talking to a trusted friend or journaling your feelings. Be kind to yourself as you process the mental and emotional challenges that come with caregiving.