Thoughts from a Caregiver

As a caregiver, you are likely experiencing many different emotions including stress. Sometimes we need to understand more about what we are feeling in order to identify what is going on and find solutions to help us cope. Do you find that any of the following statements captures what you are feeling currently?

“I am exhausted. What can I do today to make a difference?”

As a caregiver, you may feel “on duty” all the time and that it’s difficult or even impossible to take time for yourself with the numerous tasks calling out for your attention and energy each day. However, caring for yourself is one of the most important – and one of the most often forgotten – things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit too.

Studies show that taking as little as 15-minutes today to reconnect with an activity you enjoy can help recharge your caregiving battery. Do you like to read but haven’t picked up a book in what feels like ages? Do you enjoy painting or drawing? When was the last time you picked up your guitar or listened to a song by your favorite music artist? At times, your identity as a caregiver can seem to be the only one that defines you. However, reconnecting with your other identities – friend, photographer, baker, nature enthusiast, musician, artist – can breathe life into your efforts as a caregiver and have positive impacts on your mental and emotional well-being.

Think of your other identities and how you can spend 15 minutes today embracing one of those. Call a friend and share a few laughs. Make a list of a few recipes you’d like to try. Step outside and take photos of the world around you. Dance in your living room while you listen to your favorite band. Invest in yourself today and take a few moments to connect with something you love.

“Caregiving is tough. I need more support.”

Caregiving is often too big of a job for just one person. It doesn’t matter who you are or how much experience you have. Every caregiver needs support. Acknowledging this to yourself and then being willing to open yourself up to others who can support you is important.

Take a moment to think about untapped resources around you. It can be hard to ask for help but being honest and specific with others can build an invaluable village of support for you during the caregiving journey. Can a neighbor pick up groceries for you? Do you have a trusted friend that can come over for an hour so that you can take a nap or go for a walk? Does your loved one’s doctor have suggestions for additional care resources? Can a family member help with bill paying or come over and do the laundry?

Think of something on your to-do list that you’d feel relieved to have off the list. Next, think of someone around you that can help with that task. Most people are willing to help, but they need a cue from you as a caregiver to know what would be most beneficial. Being aware of your needs, being open with others, and asking for help can result in big changes as you build a solid support network one step at a time.

For more encouragement and tips, read more here.

“I feel like I’m parenting my parent.”

As you take on caregiving for a loved one, you may find yourself taking on new roles or even reversing roles as their health condition changes. The shift in roles and responsibilities can feel pushed on you. You may need to take on a few or even many tasks that you’ve never done before. While caring for your parent, you may need to make decisions about their life, home, medical care, and finances that don’t feel like yours to make. It feels backwards. This is role reversal.

Role reversal can provoke a variety of emotions for both you and your parent as you take on more responsibilities that your parent is no longer able to do. Acknowledging that these feelings are normal is a huge step in a positive direction. Recognizing and validating them will help your emotional well-being. The same can be true for your parent. We realize that parent-child relationships can be complicated. However, if you’re able to communicate with your parent about the ways in which role reversal is impacting both of you, it’s a wonderful opportunity to increase empathy and support one another. If you’re not able to talk with your parent, reach out to a trusted friend, family member or your medical provider for support.

Explore more about role reversal here.

We want you to feel encouraged no matter what you are feeling by normalizing your emotions and helping you gain perspective in the moment. Remember to be patient with yourself as you work through your feelings.